Let People into Your Messed Up World

My corn dog post was difficult for me to write.  I didn’t want everyone to read about my horrible day. My husband already felt like he had failed and wasn’t there for me when I needed him.  But I never felt like he failed me.  I was thrilled for him to get a break from being daddy for a few hours.  It actually made me happy to see him serving someone besides his family.  I didn’t want anyone in our church to feel bad that this wonderful event had turned into a horrible experience for me.  Our church is extremely supportive and loves our family. But on this day, they were busy.  Really busy.  They were busy loving the community by cooking, serving, dumping trash, and driving golf carts.  But there was another reason I didn’t want to write the corn dog post. I’ve always had this problem with wanting people to think that I have it all together.  Smile and act happy even if you’re dying inside. Don’t ever let anyone know that your life is hard.  Yes, you sometimes have to lock yourself in your bedroom for a time out because your children are driving you crazy.  And you eat too much chocolate because it helps you feel better.  But you shouldn’t let anyone know your little secrets because it makes you look bad.  But I overcame all of those fears and I wrote the corn dog post because I know that special needs parents are lonely.  They need to know that they aren’t the only ones who struggle.  They needed to hear about my horrible day.

Do you know what happens when you let people into your messed up life?  I’ve found out that they want to help.

I told my mom about my day.  She responded very quickly and said that Mikayla & Hope just need to come to their house next year.  Air conditioning, cartoons, and a day with grandma and grandpa would have been great.  Grandmas are the best.  They’re always there when you need them.

I messaged a friend at the end of my horrible day.  She said she wished she had known I was having a bad day.  She only lives a few minutes from the church.  She had went home for a couple of hours and she said she would have swiped up the girls and taken them with her if she had known I needed help. She told me that her house is always available to us when we need it.  She’s amazing.  The girls would have been happy at her house because she has peacocks, ducks, cats, and dogs.

A lady from our church read my blog post.  She messaged me her phone number.  She said to call her anytime we need help getting our family home from church. She lives 30 minutes from our house. Our church is an hour from our house.  She could have taken Taylor to her house and Brett could have picked her up there.  It would have saved Brett an hour of driving if we had asked her for help.  So her phone number is now in my phone.  And there is no doubt that I will text her in the future if I’m ever foolish enough to say that we don’t need to take two vehicles.

Another lady told me that she had heard on her radio at the event that someone had upset children and their vehicle was blocked in.  But she didn’t realize it was me.  She was working in the air conditioned first aid building.  And her daughter, who works with special needs individuals, was there too.  She said she would have stayed with me as long as I needed her.  Then she said that she loves our family.  I’ve seen this lady at church, but I didn’t even know her name.  But I won’t forget her name now.

And then her daughter told me that she would have been there in a heartbeat if she had known what I was going through.  She said that she would be glad to do whatever she could to help us if we decided to attend the event next year.  Then she said she would love to meet me and the girls soon.  I don’t even know her and she said that she would have been there in a heartbeat.  Isn’t that amazing?

Another lady gave me her phone number.  She told me to text her next year before I leave the parking lot.  She said she will get me and our two turtles all the food that we want before we head home.   If we aren’t able to stay for the event, she wants to make sure that we have something to eat on our way home.  Isn’t that thoughtful?

I was blown away by the fact that all of these people want to help our family.  And they came up with so many creative ways to help us.   But before they could offer to help they had to know that there was a need.  I think there are a lot of good people out there who are more than willing to help special needs families.  Yes, there will be people in the corn dog line staring at you and your little sweethearts.  They may jump out of the line because they don’t have the patience to listen to your sweethearts for even 3 minutes.  But I choose to believe that the majority of people are loving and willing to help if they just know what our needs are.  I’m so glad that I’ve stopped hiding our struggles.  My life is so much better now that I’ve allowed people into our messed up world.

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Let People into Your Messed Up World

  1. Love hearing the positive responses. I enjoyed your post about I want a corn dog because of the reality and honesty. I didn’t enjoy that it was a rough experience. I am so thankful that you have had such an outpouring from people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Mary. It’s not always easy to be real and honest. But it’s what people need in this world. I used to act like everything was fine when it really wasn’t. All that did was make me miserable. I’m thankful for the outpouring of love that we received from people. They have made my world a better place.

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  2. Thank You. If I have the urge to judge I will not. I will remember your family. Ignorance can be hurtful. My Mom had Alz. and people can be mindless. You have taught me to think first.

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  3. I have a special needs daughter, age 42 and I so relate to everything you are going through. My daughter would through herself down at the grocery store and have these horrible tantrums. It horrified me, and I was embarrassed, however, as the years past I got use to the stares of other people and I figured they were ignorant of people with special needs. I have meet some wonderful people who have been able to relate to me and my daughter which has been awesome. I guess I am an old Mom now and I really don’t care what people say or stare at. I have done my best and she has come a long way. Not to say she is a piece of cake but she is caring, loving, she loves life and I have learned to enjoy it with her. Our world is special and our children love us unconditionally which is more then I can say about some “NORMAL” people.

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing your corn dog story. My 8 year old son has special needs and we had a very tough day today. He lost it so many times today I lost track and I have been feeling so defeated and embarrassed and just plain worn out. It is nice to know that someone else really understands how hard it is. I also have a hard time letting people into my messed up world. I appreciate you sharing your tough day with me and helping me to see I am not alone.

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  5. Pingback: Throwing Down My Pride And Stomping On It In 2015 |

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