The insurance paper had the words “not medically necessary” printed on it. Mikayla and Hope’s speech and occupational therapy will no longer be covered by insurance. I felt totally helpless. What do we do now? One person said we should do this. Another person said we need to do that. And another person said we need to do something else. How do we decide where to go from here? I’ve not slept much. I’ve worried and I’ve cried. I’ve wondered what God is doing. I’ve prayed and asked Him to direct our steps and to show us what’s next for our girls.
Right now we see two options. We can move to the state where Brett works. His commute would be shorter and more services would be available for our girls than we have in our state. Or the girls can get the therapies they need if we enroll them in a school that’s 50 minutes from our house. To be honest, neither option sounds very appealing to me. I don’t really feel like relocating. I’m not opposed to the school but I don’t like the fact that it’s 50 minutes away from our house.
I decided that I want to talk to someone who has worked at the school and I also want to talk to a parent whose child goes to the school. A friend from church volunteered at the school several years ago. We’ll be meeting with her soon and getting her thoughts on our situation. But I don’t know anyone who has a child in the school. But I do know God and I’ve prayed for Him to direct our steps to the right places and the right people. Last night He directed my steps in a rather unique way.
It was 37 degrees when I pulled into the church parking lot. I pulled up to the door and let the girls out so that they wouldn’t have to walk in the cold. I didn’t want to mess with putting their coats on since they only needed to take 3 steps to get inside. I told them I would bring their coats in with me so they would have them for our walk back out to the van after church. I parked the van. I grabbed the coats and my purse and walked into church.
As worship service was getting ready to start I took my coat off and I put it on the seat next to me. Wait a minute. Where are the girls coats? Oh great. I left them in the restroom. I ran to the restroom. No coats. I went to their classroom. Maybe the girls were carrying them and I just don’t remember. Nope. No coats in the classroom either. I walked up and down the hallways. No coats anywhere. I saw Amanda and Kathy standing at the check-in station; I asked them if anyone had turned in a couple of coats. They said no one had. Amanda told me to go into the worship service and relax. They would find the coats for me.
I went into the service. I began to sing but I wasn’t able to relax. There’s nothing in this world that makes me crazier than not being able to find something. Amanda and Kathy had enough to take care of without having to look for my girls coats. So I prayed. I asked God to help them find the coats quickly. And then I heard a still small voice that said “You didn’t bring them in……they’re still in the van.” I grabbed my keys and I went out to the van. Sure enough both coats were in Mikayla’s seat. I realized what had happened. I parked the van, opened the hatch, and grabbed the coats. And then I noticed I’d done a terrible job of parking. I was way too far away from that line and way too close to that one. So I put the coats in Mikayla’s seat, got back in the van, and straightened up my bad parking job. Then I got out of the van, forgot to grab the coats, and went into church. The case of the missing coats was solved.
I was feeling like a complete fool as I walked towards the kids classes. But I had to let the ladies know that they could stop looking for the coats. I found Kathy and I told her that I hadn’t actually brought the coats into the building. We laughed about my brain malfunction. I told her that I hadn’t been sleeping much. She asked me why I hadn’t been sleeping. I told her that we’re needing to make decisions about Mikayla & Hope’s future. I told her that sending them to a school almost an hour from our house may be the only way they can get the therapies they need. She told me that she has a friend whose daughter will soon graduate from the same school. She’s sure she would be glad to talk to me about the school. Ok, Lord. This whole missing coat fiasco makes sense now. I went back into the worship service just in time to sing the last half of the last song. And all I could think about was how good God is. He directs my steps no matter what. Even during a moment when I felt like a complete fool He directed my steps towards Kathy. He knew that Kathy had a friend who can help me.
I learned a valuable lesson last night. Searching for the answers to our girls futures is much like searching for their missing coats. I ran all over the church trying to find their coats but I couldn’t find them. It was when I stopped and asked God for His help that the coats were found. I can run all over this earth searching for services, therapists, and schools and not find them. But if I just stop and ask God to help me He will answer. He delights in every detail of our lives. He even delights in me during those moments when I’m looking for something that was never lost.